Axel

When I was in high school there was only one trans person a trans man. He was a grade older than me but I was lucky enough to take a psych class that he was in. I knew he existed but all I knew about him was what others would say. I knew his dead name more than I knew his name but once I learned his name the memory faded quickly. I was so shy and awkward in that early stage where you're not out to anyone but you know internally what the future holds. I wasn't doing well at that point but seeing him in class gave me a future to head towards. Looking back I think he could tell that we were alike I just hadn't found my voice yet. He always had a hard shell that I soon developed but was beyond kind to me. He was the 1st in a line of trans elders who helped me see that when I was ready there were mentors who would help me find myself. I came out as a teenager because I knew if I did I would be okay just like he was. I knew that trans people especially men existed and if I lost everything by revealing my truth I wouldn't be alone.

It started with teachers who showed me kindness. I came out after my attempt because I knew if I wanted to keep living I had to be myself. I had a therapist whom I was required to see after my outpatient care. She was outstanding in helping me plan out a future how to tell my parents and confidence in myself. She eventually hit the limit of her knowledge and helped me find a gender therapist. While there is a laundry list of doctors nurses specialists etc. who were so helpful in my transition the two biggest ones were an LGBTQ+ community center and other trans people. I went to a trans support group (per my therapist's recommendations) and everyone there helped me take steps. Seeing trans people of all types and ages made me see that I wasn't a dumb teenager falling for a trend. I was the next generation of outstanding people. The center hosted these events and also offered resources to get your name changed access hormones etc. Everyone but especially that community is why I am here.