Ethan

I was 18, just shy of a month away from graduating high school. I had been out as trans for about 2 years at this point. I was feeling a lot of things…hopeful, hopeless, worried, brave, careless. I struggled to accept my identity and cope with discrimination. I was a scared kid – 18, but still a kid. My therapist was helping me juggle all the conflicting emotions and to make sense of it all. I knew that I wanted to start T. We located an LGBTQ+ clinic about 2 hours away where I could be evaluated for HRT; something I wanted so badly. A few weeks later, I was on a train heading into the city for my first appointment, and to my first HRT prescription. I remembered feeling anxious, then overwhelmed with hope and excitement for the first time in a very long, long time. I pictured my future self; what would he look like? Would he have a beard? A gruff voice? Would a change of name come next, or perhaps a look into top surgery? The possibilities finally felt endless. I could see the future; my future as a happy, resilient, transgender man, and I wasn’t scared anymore.

Therapy. Gender-affirming, strengths-based therapy was the key to it all. Access to an affirming and affordable clinic and pharmacy, online forums and informational websites, and genuine support from both loved ones and strangers all helped me get to this point.